On January 11th, 2010, around 4:30 in the afternoon, I walked through the arrivals gate at Auckland International Airport, and finally, after 55 days, saw the faces of four of the five people I love and respect most. It was a true kodak moment, the long awaited return, a moment that I'll hold dear for the rest of my days. In that moment, I was loved. I was hugged like never before. I was cried over. I was laughed with. And at. In that moment, I was home.

That was a moment of grace, but grace never comes without hardship, without broken pieces, without sadness. Now I sit here, on March 13th, more than two months after that moment. And Im finally ready to say, Im not over it. I walked through those doors and smiled at those faces two moths ago thinking "this is peace, this is home, and I'll hold those memories forever, but they are just memories now." Im expected to be 'over it', it was so long ago, and so much has changed since that day, more than I ever thought could change. But today, Im here saying Im not over it. They are not just memories, they are reality.

We live in a messed up world. This world sucks. People screw up. Children are abandoned. Promises are broken. Friends let you down. Wrong choices are made. And consequences follow. Chritians are persecuted. Good people die. Holes are left. Hearts are broken. Lives are lived in poverty. Bodies are sold. The advantage is always taken. Tears are shed. And lives are lost. China definately opened my eyes to things I had never imagined in my scariest nightmares. But without bad news, there'd be no good news.

Right now all I can taste are bitter tears,
Right now all I can see are clouds of sorrow.
But from the other side of all this pain,
is that You I hear, lauging loud, calling out to me?

Saying "See, its everything you said that it would be.
And even better than you would believe.
And Im counting down the days until you're here with me,
and finally, you'll see."

But right now, all i can say is "Lord, how long
before you come and take away this aching?"
This night of weeping seems to have no end.
But when the morning light breaks through,
we'll open up our eyes and we will see.

Its everything He said that it would be,
and even better than we would believe.
And He's counting down the days until He says "Come with me".
And finally, He'll wipe every tear from our eyes,
and make everything new, just like He promised.
Wait and see.

The good news that He is coming. And mistakes will be forgiven. Orphans will be loved. Wrongs will be made right. Holes will be filled. Broken hearts will be mended. Eyes will be dry. Lives will be restored. And we will be made whole.

We will see. Im excited.

In an email I wrote when I was in China, I said "Jesus is alive in China, which is the most exciting thing ever, even if it means I have to hurt for a while." Coming up to Easter, im being gently reminded how much Jesus hurt for our sake. Its okay to hurt and cry and be broken for Jesus. That moment of grace is coming.