free.

Its been, what, three months since I touched down in Auckland after my adventures in China. And what a three months its been. I could have imagined the last three months (make that six!) of my life if I had tried, there was absolutely no way that I could have prepared myself for it! But, its very exciting to say, that Im walking out the other side of that chapter. Heres how.



So, I went to Perth recently, a break that proved more than worthwhile in so so many ways. But while I was in Perth, Easter rolled around. now, for anybody that knows me knows that Easter is my favourtie time of year, but I knew this Easter would be a bit different. I would normally go to BYM Eastercamp at Mystery Creek with the youth of Roskill, just like every other year. But, being in Perth, I had the amazing refreshing reminder of what a usual Easter Sunday church service is like. This particular service was quite graphic and focussed on the absolute brutality of Christ's death. Not just that He died for ME, but He died in the worst possible way, He went without a fight, He stayed quiet and took the beating.

Wow.

And, realising this, I suddenly felt completely at rest. I did not have to carry this hurt, this yukiness that I had been carrying around. Its not mine to carry. He's already taken the beating for me. He's already hurt more than I could ever know so I could walk free from this burden. It is such a freeing feeling!!

A friend who occassionally reads this blog mentioned to me today that the last few posts have been quite dark and depressing and that I needed to write about something happy. And yeah, Jesus DIED, but thats so so so so exciting, because now, I dont have to hold anything back. I can be completely honest about everything in China and since, because I no longer carry that hurt. The fight has been fought, the battle has already been won.

I am so free, its an amazing feeling.

Ask me anything about China, and since. I dare you.

made my day

Today, while I was trying to cull the number of documents on my computer, I found a list I wrote about two weeks before coming home from China. It read:

face to face conversations

hugs

ice cream

fruit

lying in the sun

rain

sundays

my own bed

purple blob

chocolate

my clique

driving

watching a sunrise

and a sunset

jandals

walking

the beach

face wash

mail

church

fast food

jumping in the pool

baking

tap water

singing

laughing

a shower

sarcasm

washing my hair

wearing dresses

radio

blogging.

oh it made my day! :)