Wisdom...?

My first wisdom tooth emerged this week, after 18 months torture, but I don't feel any wiser...am I meant to?

I still struggle with my 'imaginary audience', sometimes think about who might be watching me and what they think about me.

I still get worked up about the little things, make mountains out of molehills.

I still sometimes turn a blind eye to the important things, purely out of fear.

I still look at outward appearance, and then hate myself for it.

I still feel useless sometimes.

I still cry.

I still seek to serve myself.

I still yell and scream at God, when I know He knows me better than I know myself, and He loves me more than I could ever understand.

I'm still growing, hoping that one day, I might be called wise.

Of course, I'm just having a good rant at myself, I don't intend to offend anyone. I don't expect anybody to really listen, or read and think about it. Just merely thinking out loud.