Beckie is going to China!

An update on the last post ("An Elephant-sized hiccup")....

I've just got home from the Chinese Embassy again, and my visa has been approved. oh yeah. I had an enormous amount of txt messages this morning (and a lovely anonymous comment on my last post...thanks...) wishing me luck and sending prayers and love, and it's so been felt today. The relief is HUGE...like actually. There's only the little twiddly bits left to sort, and then just turning up at the airport. The waiting is killing me.

I know that the chances of nothing else going wrong in the next 64 days are slim, but I have no doubt in my mind that everything will be ready to go in time. That's an encouraging thought.

Love,
Becks

An elephant-sized hiccup...

I have to be careful about what I say so bear with me...

I leave for China in 10 weeks (71 days actually...but who's counting..), and everything seemed to be going really smoothly. There's only really been a few little bumps along the way, but nothing too stressful..
Now I only have two things left to sort, the two things that I thought would be the easiest. 1. Insurance. And 2. my visa. I havent even really thought about insurance but got onto applying for my visa as soon as I could really.
BUT Im having mega ultra huge issues with getting my visa approved, which is actually about the worst thing that could happen. No visa, no entering China.

I can't be too specific here, but you can ask me (not on the internet) later if you wish and I'll fill you in.

You're support so far has been flippin' amazing. Actually. I have no doubt that this is what Im meant to be doing, and definately where Im meant to be right now, so theres no doubt in my mind that I'll get past this in time.

Love you all this much *stretches arms out as far as they will go*,
becks xx

Thoughts of the week..

This week, I got to talking with a friend about attraction and such. It was an interesting discussion, one that led in the usual manner, but went a bit deeper (which is always a bonus!). We talked about "specifics", you know, like what people generally look for...the talk, dark handsom type. But then this got me thinking more. When we look for specifics, everyone will come off not good enough. Seriously, how would you feel if someone turned their direction because one or two specifics didnt quite fit? Worthless comes to mind.. How much better would life be if we weren't searching for perfection? How much better would life be if we embraced brokenness and faults?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Today at uni, I got to listen to a man in his mid 70's talk with the most amazing joy about his adorable wife of 50 years. It was actually the highlight of my week. Words like 'beautiful', 'loving', and 'matchless' rolled off his tongue with sincerity.
Of course, their lives wouldn't have been perfect, but their limitless love for each other was unmistakable.

It was beautiful.

How much are we missing out on by putting up specifics, or limits? This can be applied to anything, this was purely an example from my week.

Im slowly trying to remove the limits I put up in my life, the specifics Im looking at so life might turn out perfect. Because if we expect perfection, we're only setting ourselves up for disappointment.

Monday musings (part II)

Following on from "Monday musings..." a few weeks ago...

I thought I couldn't write about hope without writing about it's friends love and faith

(1 Corinthians 13:13...you know it...)

* * *

"The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread."

Whether we like it or not, we focus our lives on love.

Some love money.

Or power.

Or themselves.

Or others.

It's true that it's a hunger.

We long for it.

We need it.

We focus on it.

It's the highest cause in all humanity.

It's out universal commonality.

It's out most divine need.

Of course, there's nothing wrong with it.

It's wonderful, isn't it?

But it's what we love that causes issues.

I think what we miss is that love isn't a trivial human thought.

It's a spiritual force.

A choice.

And when we love truly,

honestly,

selflessly,

like Jesus

love breaks bonds of brokeness and oppression.

Love is the motivation of justice.

The power behind hope.

The fuel of forgiveness.

I'm human.

And I do find it hard sometimes to understand why Jesus loves me so much.

But it's not because I'm loveable.

I'm not.

It's because I am His, and He is love.

He can't help to love me.

That's encouraging.

I've heard it said that to love someone else is to see the face of God.

I guess it's true, when you think about it.

To love someone else, through the faults of being human, (because, lets be honest, none of us are worthy...)

really is seeing the face of God.

He loves us through our faults,

our brokeness,

our human-ness.

His love seeks no other agenda.

It's unconditional.

It doesn't want payback.

And in spite of all the madness of life, it wins.

Reflections of Winter..

Winter gets a bad rap. Like actually.

Its cold.

Its wet.

Its dark.

But its beautiful.

Without winter, there would be no summer.

Without the rain, there would never be rainbows.

Without darkness, we would never experience light.

Winter is beautiful.

Monday musings...

"Hope is both the earliest and the most indispensable virtue inherent in the state of being alive. If life is to be sustained hope must remain, even where confidence is wounded, trust impaired."

We all hope for something.

Big or small, it's always important to us, at the time.

We hope we'll pass that exam.

We hope we'll see that person.

We hope, no matter how hard it is to believe, that everything will turn out ok.

It's only human nature.

To wish.

To dream.

To hope.

Hope really must remain, if we're to remain sane.

It has a very close relationship with faith.

Faith gets you through when feelings are absent. Hope gives you something to look forward to, the light at the end of the tunnel.

Faith is believing in the unseen. Hope is what you make out of nothing.

Losing hope though, is a huge reality.

In our broken world, as fallen people, there seems nothing to look forward to,

nothing to dream about,

nothing to hope for.

It's too hard to look past the crap surrounding us,

it's too scary to step out and dream.

Being let down is too much of a reality.

Disappointment is inevitable.

Unavoidable.

Certain.

And if I've learnt anything, it's that there's not one person that won't let me down.

We're human.

We're broken.

But through that, I've learnt that the unconditional love of God is the single thing in the world that I can rely on.

Totally.

Faithfully.

And that gives me hope.

Broken...

A world that celebrates success doesn't see value in broken things. But God brings beauty out of brokenness. For a plant to rise from the soil the seed must be broken. For a baby chick to experience larger life the shell must be broken. Even a thoroughbred horse must be broken; it must learn to respond to the tug of the rein and the sound of the master's voice. Getting the idea? After a humbling encounter with Christ on the Damascus Road, Paul re-evaluated all the religious activity he once boasted about and called it "dung" (Philippians 3:8). And you don't brag about dung, you're repulsed by it.

Brokenness is the work of God by which He strips us of self-sufficiency so that the character of Christ may shine through us. Now don't misunderstand; being broken doesn't necessarily mean experiencing some tragedy. Many people suffer tragedy without drawing closer to God or even acknowledging Him. Indeed, the same sunshine that melts the butter hardens the clay. The issue in brokenness is not so much our circumstances, but our response.

What is God trying to teach us? True brokenness is when He strips us of self-sufficiency to the extent that we've no strength left to fix ourselves. When God blocks every exit we try to take and we come to see that He alone is our answer, we make a life changing discovery. "And what's that?" you ask. When God is all you have - God is all you need! Bottom line: God's power is reserved for those who have given up trying to do it in their own strength or to accomplish it for their own ends!

I've recently begun to "take off my mask", exposing my brokeness, my imperfections, my human-ness. And rather than being woe-is-me about it all, I want to embrace it, reveal it, use it. I firmly believe that God uses brokeness, we are all broken after all, and all I have to be is willing. Willing for Him to break me and mould me how He wants. I think its okay not to want to, to be scared. Being totally okay and content is different from being willing. I think brokeness is a gift, in a way. Theres nothing like being totally isolated, totally out of options, and all you can do is lean on God.

You'll never know that God is all you need, until He's all you've got.

x becks