Ups and Downs

Life is very up and down.

For a long time Ive felt quite displaced and unsettled where I am and what I am doing. And its a really horrible feeling.

But I think whats worse is that I don't know where the feeling is originated. Like...if its a reaction to the cold, and muscle memory of China. Or me really missing people overseas. Or ACTUALLY God preparing me for something I can't see yet.

Whatever it is, its very...hard, and I would really appreciate knowing the reason for it.