A big ramble

Who decides what is good and bad?

I mean, a situation that seems so stink to one person can seem like the biggest blessing in the world to the next person. But who gets to make that decision? Are we just responsible for ourselves? But then what happens when wee cant see the good, the silver lining, does it then become someone else burden to make us see?

I guess those are questions we all have to answer for ourselves. Theres no right or wrong. But its definately something to think about.

In the last couple of weeks, Ive recieved two piece of BIG news, both at the same time but unrelated, but both, in their own ways, will impact and significantly change my immediate and not-so-immediate future. But FINALLY, Im starting to see how these two things might just fit together, and actually BE GOOD...Maybe...Really? Did I just say that?

A friend actually told me she was a little bit jealous of me because of this hand Ive been dealt. What? Jealous? That seems a tad extreme. But actually, maybe shes right. But just maybe.

You see, in a weird wasy, I feel like Ive been given TIME. And thats pretty ultimate really. How many times in the last year have I yearned for time?! And so now that Ive been given this gift, as odd as it seems to call this a gift, how shall I use it? Its up to ME to use it well. Could it be that Ive been given this time for this specific reason? And so, if its up to me, do I have to use that time for that reason I may have been given it for? Maybe.

Ive been trying to find Jesus in all of this. You know, why do bad things happen yadda yadda yadda. And today, I just might have found Him. A friend txted me today needing to know if everything with me was okay. That was really odd, I thought, as I hadnt talked to him in a couple of months. What had he heard? But no, turns out, he had a dream last night. In his dream, his phone broke, and then suddenly he was shown that I wasnt..right. And when he woke up this morning and noticed his phone was in fact somewhat broken, he thought he'd better check in with me. I thought that was pretty huge. And it gave me quite a peaceful feeling. Although I cant see Jesus in everything at the moment, this was so affirming that Jesus IS in everything.

So now all there is left to do is use this situation. Theres no use feeling woe-is-me about it all. The only option is to move forward, keep walking, and keep looking above.