My World Without You

Remember when we first met?

you didn't even know my name.

We fell in love so quickly,

like this picture in this picture frame.

Now I'm down on my knees,

I just need time to put it all back with you.

I'm not trying to prove you wrong,

it feels like sometimes we don't belong.

But this is my world without you,

and I don't want to stay,

I'm gunna burn without you,

I can't see it any other way,

I need you back today.

I'm bringing back the memories,

trying to keep this love alive.

I know the fights were worth it,

but I'm fighting now to survive.

We're not enemies, we just need time

to step away and think this through.

And I know sometimes we'll get it wrong.

But this is my world without you,

and I don't want to stay.

I'm gunna burn without you,

I can't see it any other way,

I need you back today.

My world was made to have you in it,

me and only you.

And I will stay until you're in it.

My world was made for you.

Is it possible to love and hate the same song for the very same reason?

"World without you" by Chris Cope.

Faithful One

Faithful One so unchanging,

Ageless On, You're my rock of peace.

Lord of all, I depend on You.

I call out to You, again and again.

I call out to You, again and again.

You are my rock in times of trouble,
You lift me up when I fall down.

All through the storm Your love is the anchor,

My hope is in You alone.

Help me to believe this, really believe this, Father.

I want to find my hope in You again

I want to find my comfort in You again.

Or maybe I just want to find hope and comfort again.

Today's fight

One day I'll laugh, really laugh.

One day I'll smile, with wide eyes.

One day I'll dream, the way I used to.

One day I'll trust, I'll believe, I'll understand.

But today. Today I'll breathe. It's all I can do.

The End Goal

I used to think that one day I would wake up, and feel like my life was complete.

I guess I sort of always assumed that day would come once I was fully qualified,

in my dream job,

married to my dream man.

I now know that day will never come.

I mean, yes, one day I may wake up fully qualified, ready to go to my dream job, and kiss my dream man goodbye for the day.

But on that day, my life will still not be complete.

I mean,

that's not the end goal.

Jesus is the end goal.

Or He should be anyway.

He is the One I should be aiming for.

The end goal isn't getting married, or finally finishing my degree, or landing my dream job.

The end goal lies in the moment I meet the One who created me, and everything I am.

The One who created my heart, and gave me all the desires I struggle with.

The One who gave me life, through the loss of His own.

I guess its much easier said than done, but C.S. Lewis wrote

"Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither"

Father God,

Help me today to be who you created me to be, who I am in You, and not who I am defined by anything or anyone else. Help me to be who I am now, and not try to be who I might be in the future. Tomorrow's worries are for tomorrow.

Spring is Coming

We planted the seed while the tears of our grief soaked the ground

The sky lost its sun, and the world lost its green to lifeless brown.

Now the chilling wind has turned the earth hard as stone

And silently seed rise beneath ice and snow

And my heart's heavy now

But I'm not letting go of this hope I have that tells me

Spring is coming,

Spring is coming

And all we've been hoping and longing for soon will appear

Spring is coming,

Spring is coming

It won't be long now, it's just about here

Hear the birds start to sing

Feel the life in the breeze

Watch the ice melt away

The kids are coming out to play

Feel the sun on your skin

Growing strong and warm again

Watch the ground

there's something moving

Something is breaking through

New life is breaking through

Spring is coming,

Spring is coming

And all we've been hoping and longing for soon will appear

Spring is coming,

Spring is coming

And it won't be long now, it's just about here

Out of these ashes, beauty will rise

Sorrow will be turned to joy

All we hoped for soon will appear

Out of the dark clouds, beauty will shine

All above in heaven, rejoice

Spring is coming soon

Spring is coming soon.

Isn't this beautiful?

Steven Curtis Chapman speaks truth yet again.

It's so easy to wallow, think there's nothing to hope for, see no light in front of you. But let me tell you, spring is coming. Spring is coming soon.

Just for a moment

This morning at church we held a combined service, with a focus of conectedness. Conectedness with each other. Conectedness with God.

It was set up differently, chairs around tables instead of pews all in rows.

We shared ameal together.

Everybody talked to everybody else.

And when we sang, music filled the room.

It was just how church is meant to be, and for a moment, I closed my eyes and I was back in China. Back at church in China. Held in a big room in a smelly hotel. People from all walks of life coming together,sharing their lives, their hearts with each other. With no predjudice, no walls. Just...church. Man, I loved it.

And today, finally Iwas back there, just for a moment.

Mourning vs Rejoicing

As surely as I live, I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that they turn from their ways and live.

Ezekiel 3:11

Yesterday we heard the news that Osama bin Laden, founder of Al Qaeda, and mastermind behind the 9/11 terror attacks on the US (amongst others), was killed in an operation authorised by the President of the States. What's more, is our televisions and newspapers were then filled with the sounds and images of rejoicing, as the news broke that the world's most wanted man was executed.

Rejoicing in a life lost.

Rejoicing in one of Christ's creations lost.

Let me clarify. The terror attacks that bin Laden was responsible for were horrific. But he is no more a sinner than I am. Are we forgetting, so soon after celebrating Easter, that Jesus bled and suffered for bin Laden also?

Being human, I for one am caught in the middle of mourning and rejoicing for this death. I would like to think, as a follower of Christ, that I sit more in the mourning side of things. I do not believe the world is a better place now that bin Laden has been killed, no way. Nobody has authority to take another man's life, regardless of their crime.

Martin Luther King Jr. once said "I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that."

What a man of God.

I'm going to stand with him on this one. I will not rejoice in the death of Osama bin Laden, I will mourn the loss life, as I mourned the loss of the nearly 3000 lives he took on September 11th, 2001, the lives he took before that, and the lives that al Qaeda will continue to take after their founder's death. They are all lives, and in God's eyes, we are all equal.