An update...

I dont know how to start this post. I guess I'll just....start typing....?

Due to...circumstances...I will most likely be travelling to China about six weeks earlier than originally planned.

This means...
...I have six less weeks to work my butt off and raise the money. This puts heaps more pressure on me and my bank account.
...I will be away for (and working on) Christmas day. Not only away from my family and friends and people I love and church and turkey and laughter, I will be in a country where Christianity is illegal, punishable by inprisionment, tourture and death, therefore Christmas is....not at all recognised.

So what Im asking for...
...prayer. Knowing that you are there praying with me and for me is a good feeling. They are so felt, even now.
...support. Being around for me to freak out with, and to get excited with. To share with and talk with.
...love. Being you, loving me through my craziness leading up to this.

Of course, none of this is set in stone yet. This might all be a false alarm, but Im preparing for it not to be false at all. Im still more excited than Ive ever been in my entire life, and Im still trusting God more than I ever have in my entire life.

I promise to keep you posted.

x becks

Grace. Love. Faith. Life.

I've just found this little thing I once wrote to a friend when she was a new Christian. It's so random, but I find it really encouraging, especially after the hidiously ugly week I've had. I hope yoy find some encouragement in it too, but once again, this is mostly me having a good rant at myself.

Ok, here goes...


Life will still suck sometimes, but it'll be peachy too!


Grace is amazing. Theres nothing you can do to make God love you more...so dont try...and nothing you can do to make God love you less...so dont try!


Love is unconditional. You dont have earn His love. The fight has already been fought.


And faith..is challenging. Faith is being sure of what we cant see.

More Bricks

"It made me think of all the times God has thrown bricks at me, beacuse I'd missed His simple, loving, soft spoken words."

-Me. Last week in "Bricks".

Today a rather large 'brick' was thrown at me. And I have to say, it hurt and will definately leave a bruise (for once, not in the literal sense of the word...). I'm still, at 2am, racking my brain, trying to find what I've missed in the last....I don't know, six months, that's led the One that loves me most to throw such a large...brick. Of course He loves me more than I will ever understand. Of course He knows better than me. I am disgustingly human, and have been constantly reminded of that several times this week.

Human. Bruised by a brick today.

Silence

I love silence.



At Roskill, we start our services with a short time of silence (often too short..), and I love it. I love that, in silence, there is nothing else to do but listen. There are not many times during my week that I get to sit, in silence, totally focused, waiting on God. Actually, if I was honest, I can't remember the last time (outside the comforts of Roskill) I sat in total silence, and just...listened. Of course I have my quiet times, my Beckie and God time, but they're often not in total silence. I listen to music. Or sing. Or the TVs on in the next room. Or I listen to my own thoughts. But imagine how much more I'd hear, if all of that was taken away, and I was left with...nothing...





...stillness...






...silence.

Bricks

A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no children appeared. Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door!
He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown. The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car shouting, "What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing? That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?"
The young boy was apologetic. "Please, mister .Please, I'm sorry but I didn't know what else to do," He pleaded. "I threw the brick because no one else would stop..."
With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car. "It's my brother," he said, "he rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up."
Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, "Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me."
Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him everything was going to be okay. "Thank you and may God bless you," the grateful child told the stranger.
Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home. It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him...
Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!

I was sent this by a friend this week, and I quite like it.
It made me think of all the times God has thrown bricks at me, because I'd missed his simple, loving, soft spoken words. Someone wise once described God as "subtle, but not malicious", and I find this to be spot on.
You might think of this as a far fetched, unrealistic, silly made up fairytale with a dumb moral. To be honest, I kind of did too at first. It is unrealistic. It is made up. It is far fetched. But the matter is, it's thought provoking. Mind boggling.
And the moral, well, it does make sense. To me, if nobody else.

"Beauty is one of those rare things that doesn't lead to doubt..."

I doubt.

But I love this.

If you know but at all, you'll know that I absoulutely love going for walks, taking photos, and just sitting in the presence of creation. And I think this is the reason.

I doubt. But the beauty of creation really is one of those things that rarely leads to doubt. And Im encouraged by this time and time again. Maybe that's why God made things so beautiful, coz He knew we'd screw up, He knew we'd live in a broken world, and He knew we'd need something to bring us home, bring us back to Him. I don't know what His reasons were. Hmmmm.

Anyway, I just wanted to share with you some of the beauty that He created.

x Becks

to the ends of the earth...

He said to them: "It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority. But you will recieve power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth."

- Acts 1:7-8

Today I was criticised for the time I'm about to spend in China, working with children who can't go to school because they're deaf and the Chinese government won't let them. I've been told I'm not going to be supported because I'm going independantly, under the umbrella of an organisation that isn't specifically Christian.

So that pretty much sucked. Because reading this verse, I don't need to be with a Christian organisation to be a witness. As a Christian, I need to love Jesus and do everything in my power to share His love with those who have never had the oppourtunity to encounter Jesus. I didn't choose to be called to China, but I feel if that's where God has called me to for now, who am I to give Him conditions? When I gave everything over to God, it didn't come with "but only on the condition that...." That's not quite how it works.

As James* (and Brooke Fraser) said, faith without deeds is dead. I am saved by the grace of God, and I have total faith in Him, but that faith is indeed dead if I'm not proactive about it. If I focus myself on Him, live like Him and break with Him, "deeds" should come naturally. God doesn't give suggestions or ideas, He gives commands, and this most definately should be taken as one. As a Christian, I am called and commanded to serve not only Jesus, but His people, and in doing so, share His love.

I know that without support, I will never get to China so today has really upset me, I wanted nothing more but to up and leave then and there. But, more than anything, it's made me refocus on Him, and on the people of China, who really do need the oppourtunity to encounter Jesus.

* From James 2:14-26.

Also, the first words of James say "James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ...". I dream of the day I hear those words.

Also again, thanks to Bethany and Sam, who gave me these passages, and thoughts to go with them during my time in China 2008.